Yay. I'm more than half my way through my pregnancy. Best case scenario, my little boy will be out in 13 weeks(God, I hope so) or I have 19 more weeks to go. Either way, I'm over 50% done with my pregnancy and now it's just starting to get weird.

Probably about 5 weeks ago I started to feel him move. Which was like yay! There's my baby. From that point on, he's just gotten more particular and bizarre. He's very opionionated and he likes when Kyle is around. Like, at school if someone says stuff that he doesn't like, he clearly starts punching me to show me his disdain. What a crazy little boy. Then at night, when me and Kyle are watching tv, Kyle will like roll away, and the boy starts beating me till Kyle comes back and holds me. It's like having another crazy version of me sitting in me beating the living shit out of myself. What fun.

I keep having crazy dreams about him. Nothing really interesting that I can remember but I swear, I think he's going to have my nose. I hope he does. I think my nose would look cute. Otherwise, he's going to look like Kyle and I'm going to lock both of my men in the basement and never let them leave. (Oh, my dream last night was about me being a serial killer. Man, that was awesome.)

I'm outnumbered now. It's no good. At least the little boy won't be able to gang up on me with Kyle for awhile. Maybe by then Kyle will... nevermind, Kyle will be Kyle and I like him that way.

We've gotten the room started. I posted pictures on myspace because I just hate resizing them on here. I also hate posting them facebook because I think that thing is a tool of the devil. Oh, but back to the room. It's this awesome underwater scene. My mom is suggesting that we put like a giant shipwreck on the wall. That would be badass. I don't really care as long as I get my HUGE great white shark.

I'm so excited.  I can't wait to meet my little boy.

I'm going to turn into such a tool. So sad.

Still haven't figured out a name. I lost my name list too. LOL. I mean, I know it's somewhere around here but I'm just not in the mood to find it. Kyle said I could name him whatever I want(as long as the name wasn't girly) if he had just his last name, but I don't want to do that. Even though I want to name him Dexter so damn bad. But I'll find something else that I love that much. I have such a giant list, ranging from names like Armand to Slade to Corbin.

It figures like in my stories I have a terrible time naming men, but not women. Go figure I have a boy. If I had a girl, it would be Annabella. But no, evidently there's not enough dicks in this house.

In other news, school is done on wednesday. I've transfered up to a different Five Below(about a 40 minute drive and $2 toll each way).

My car is wanting to have a seizure but he's trying so hard to keep his sensors working until I can get him in the shop on Monday. Good thing my car did this now and not like Thursday when I'm out of school.

OOOH! So my 24 week check up is on Thursday. After that, we're going to see Halloween II. =D =D =D =D =D God, and then we're going to see Gamer probably on Sunday. God, god god ogodo godogdogogd. Its going to be awesome.

The end of my story.

Btw this song makes me cry. How gay. I hear these lyrics,

I've read somewhere statistics show,
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.

That's going to be Kyle. ;P

http://www.squishable.com/pc/squish_shark_15/Big_Animals/Big+Squishable+Shark

i need this.

18-31


18 Snow Cat



( 19-31 )

Oh what will February bring? Nothing

I just watched a clip of dirty jobs and out of it i get a new picture. =D

Mike Rowe is so fucking adorable. He goes, "I think I've seen that before." Then holds up the marijuana leaf that was left at some run down trailer park they were cleaning out.

Classic.

Need an opinion other than my own.

Break my story up into Chapters, and if so, make the chapters just numbers or have actual titles.

Yes, Kayla, I'm editing it right now so you can read it because I am and I'm laughing my ass off at you. Lolz.


Oh, if you didn't see, I added piercing number twenty on thursday. =D

I fucking hate posting these pictures on livejournal because I have no idea how webpages and shit work. Blah. New fangled technology blows.



My name is Jake!
( About the state of your mind... )

It will continue I suppose.

It's Taco Night!
( Like a million more to go. )

Fuck it. Through everything, somehow I managed to get to 50100 words by 11:10 tonight. Go me! WIth 50 minutes to spare. I only wrote like ... 6500 words since 8:30 after I got home from work. I was so not going to lose it by so little.

Yay.

I'm really proud of myself right now.

But.

Story is not done, almost. Right at the end. It's getting so hot. I can't wait to finish it up and then edit it.

Oohhhhhhhh book covers! My new thing to stress out about!

I just wanted to tell everyone I just got a wireless keyboard and mouse. I find that I absolutely love it and It lets me sit wherever I want and write. It makes me happy. Hopefully it'll make me put away my last 9k! =D Yay! I'm under the five digits! I can't wait to be at 3! =D

Bought stuff. Like, dachshund xmas hats, a googley penguin pen, a penguin pen where the penguin pops off teh top, rudolph the red nosed reindeer dvd, batman vs. superman dvd(badass movie-- kerri, have you seen this?), and like a bunch of crap. But whatever.

It's hard getting used to this keyboard. I tihnk finishing my story will help. Crap. No more procrastinating. Honestly, I have to work tomorrow too!

Okay, well. from three days ago I moved from 21k to just slightly under 35k. As long as I keep up what I have been doing, I should be done early and on thanksgiving, so I can take the final days and proofread the madness. Oh yeah, and fix the beginning since i forgot to mention the robots.

Woops.

Here's another fun excerpt for my darling Gwenny the Penny. (You're SUCH a hot BITCH in my story. I love it.)

          She sighed. “Yeah, I don’t know about them yet. I guess we will figure that out once I get Quinn to agree to help us.”
          Paisley unhooked the safety belt. “Why do you think he is going to do that?”
          Gwen unbuttoned the top of her shirt. “Because I really big tits and I know how to use them.”
          She did not argue with her friend. Gwen had more sex appeal than both of them put together, even though their figures nearly matched, down to the bras they constantly interchanged. However, Gwen had such a ferocity and self awareness of how to use her body to get what she needed, Paisley had never found out how to match such a thing. She did not need to, even so. With Gwen on her side, there were no men(and a vast majority of women) that would be able to turn her down.

         The door opened, half cocked and still from behind Gwen she saw Quinn peering out, his dark green eyes cutting through the both of them quickly, then back to his ex-wife who stood planted with one hand on her hip and the other jutted out, enticing him to at least say something.
          “Gwen Brooks, fancy meeting you outside of my house on a Friday night. Shouldn’t you be out walking a street corner in that outfit?”
          “That is about where they are going to find your dead body if you ever speak about me like that in front of our children.” Gwen licked her lips, but continued to speak softly. “We need to talk. Now.”

          A slamming door brought Paisley back to reality. It had been the office door upstairs closing and she heard too distinctly separate footsteps coming downstairs. Gwen had the heavy foot, oblivious to the noise around her. The only sounds that she heard of Quinn were the slight creaks in the old floorboards beneath the carpet. He kept himself silent by habit, not even necessity she figured at this point.
         Gwen entered the room first. Paisley was not even sure how to describe her friends looks. She just honestly look like Quinn put her up against the wall and had his way with her. It was probably the most accurate description of the truth she would get without asking and knowing too much of what happened behind their closed doors.
         Quinn, as any typical man, looked like he had not exerted much of his energy. His hair was not long enough to be a mess and his shirt was black so any sweat he had exerted was not noticeable. If anything, he just looked a little bit ruffled. But, the grin that was plastered on his face did give Paisley the only hint she needed.
         She looked to her friend for the final word.
         Gwen nodded in sweet satisfaction. She gave Paisley a thumb’s up. “We will stay here tonight and start first thing tomorrow.”

This story is amusing the fuck outta' me. :P

So now I'm at like 18k 21k, falling asleep last night when I got 15k because I so godawfully tired. However, my story has taken a fun turn.

It now includes robots.

 

Well actually, people who are humans who have become cyborgs because of their lost limbs and the only thing that wasnt destroyed in the large war were large quanities of metal, causing more people to become cyborgs and robots to appear to help out for all the jobs that could not be performed because of lack of people.

Robots.

Yep.

I honestly have to do another 8k before I go to sleep tonight, which will be tomorrow around 5am I'm guessing, which is cool. Means i only have to write another 4000 when I wake up. :P

You waste of life
You waste of space
You waste of everything
Make no mistake,
You fucking fake,
I enjoy your suffering

This song by Cyanotic has become my 50k novels  theme song, at least for the serial killers part.
 

Somewhere in the macabre part of her brain, she wondered what present had been left outside this time. Her shop, Michael’s house - she could only imagine now that the next time she would wake to find a severed leg in her own bed.

My two sentence excerpt from my story. It's going terribly slow, but that's because I'm a procrastinator. In exciting writing news, Cyanotic's album Prehab 25mg has like inspired me to write. And it really wants me to write about ROBOTS. I might, seriously consider, making robots appear in a logical sort of way. :P

I have to write at least another 10k 5k tonight. Yay!

Another hilarious part, Lacy talking to her friend Gwen about her late night with Michael.

“He carried me up the stairs, in his arms, and kissed me.”
    “At the same time, or separately? Because separately is just not all that impressive to me.”

I'm doing nanowrimo this year only so whatever book I do decide to write I can get published for free because of finishing last years 50k one. I don't even remember what crap I did write, but it probably wasn't that good.
Hopefully, this years will be better and I can send it off to publishers because the more I do automotive, the harder I want to run away from it. Just be a writer and make gabillions of dollars.
I started my job on Monday. It's cool.
I took four tests on manual transmissions on Monday too. Not so fun.
I'm fucking tired, cranky, and in the middle of my two death weeks.
I want something to fucking smoke.
I have a goddamn headache.
I need a story idea.

Going to a NHRA race in Richmond tomorrow. Have to be up at school by 530am. Woo. Road trip with Mr.B and three other guys.

While the other guys will probably annoy the shit outta' me, I'm definitely getting shotgun. Cuz I'm hot, or because Beacham likes me best. Mwahaha.

Hopefully I can get some beer outta' this.

I'm bringing my camera so maybe I can get some crazy pictures of fast cars. Hope my shutter is working quickly and it's a nice day.

Definitely not looking forward to the three hour sit/drive. Please iPod, don't die on me!!!!

I wil update someday soon on the funny things that happened at school on thursday and the other bs in my life. =D

Kayla, when you see Dexter, tell me if you squealed as much as you think I did.

*faints*

Or anyone else who watches it, rather. I told Scott about it, but he was kinda loopy. We'll see if he remembers it tommorow. Even my mom asked me about it. HAH. She doesn't even watch it.

My husband is back in TX. That's a good thing(rather than being lost in Chicago), but his poor baby Lonestar died. =(

I'm working on getting back into Lincoln Tech. I should know more tomorrow.

My newest obsession: Bones.

Oohhhhhhhh. House is on tonight!

Teh end.

That is all.

Just so I always know I'm always right.

A little of my control freak coming out.

Anyways. Scott did call me from work like I had told everyone he would. Seriously, I wish people just understood that this is no bullshit to us. This relationship means more than life itself. It's like... what we've both been waiting for. That fairy-tale romance crap that I've dreamed that I deserve. Grdddammit I do!

Anyways, he called me from work. He was worried I was pissed at him because he didn't call me in the morning. Then I told him why I was actually mad, but not at him. Then he got mad. It all really worked out and he took care of his friends, until they do some stupid bullshit like that again. Then I'll go through it again until he really remembers to delete my number out of everyone's phone. I just can't trust his friends. It has nothing to do with him, it's just other people have ruined it for everyone else. Therefore, if I can get him to do this, I don't have to change my phone number. I don't want to change my number and Scott was mad that I was thinking about it. I was mad thinking about it too, but seriously now, I won't have to do it so that's fantastic.

I have a secret. A happy secret.

You'll find out on on.... January 2nd. :D

<3

Why did I have to swear on my dachshund's lives? Dammit. Now I truly do have to wait. Trust me. It'll be worth it!

I'm fucking singing here. It'd better be the best secret EVER!!!! ;D

Yeah, so I'm thinking about quitting school.

I'm going to outline why, but for right now, I'm really really just so frustrated and angry. FUCK. I won't get my weed until later tonight. I need it like right fucking now and I'd be totally cool. However, I must have patience. BLAH. Like I have any of that anymore. I'm shaking again I get so angry thinking about everything.

Everyone is trying to change my decision. Christ.

Can't I just have someone say, "Whatever you do, I'll support you."

OTHER THAN SCOTT.

I keep getting really upset about this. I'm worrying so much I"m making myself sick. I'm getting like simulated morning sickness, which is just fucking ludicrous because that's the last shit I need before I go to work... The only time I really calm down is when I'm at work. Then I just get to be whoever the fuck I want to be without any reservations. I just move fucking boxes all day long and I love it. SO WHAT.

ARGH.

I don't even know where to begin. I just hate school so much. It's not even really school. It's like a terrible jail sentence that I have too many months left to finish. Maybe I should just take the countdown off and I won't think of it so fucking much. Jesus fucking christ. I always feel sick whenver I start talking about this.

I also look so depressed that I could possibly hang myself. I wouldn't, but I mean, that's what shows on my face. For everything else, I'm perfectly content with my life, just not this aspect of it and I don't understand why I can't handle it. This always fucking happens. Life is so fucking silly. One thing goes good, then another part of my life gets all fucked up. Pffft.

I know, shit can't be easy otherwise it wouldn't be worth living.

I know all that crap. I know that. Christ, I don't know how many times I have to repeat myself to other people. Anyways, I'm not worried about other people's opinion of what I should do with my life. In a way I do care, but the only person I want to make proud of me is my mother-- and I know she supports whatever I do because it's not like I do anything just at the drop of a hat anymore. I learned that the hard way three years ago when I royally screwed up my life.

Back to why I hate LTI.

1. They lied to me and said that it would help me get a job. NOT TRUE. Employers LAUGH when you mention the fact that I've been to LTI. It is the biggest joke school.
2. I started in February. I don't finish until March '09. While this is not as long as the rest of college and whatever--- uhm. It's still too long. I am obviously very impatient with everything; it's just the way I roll.
3. I hate being there. It's like a jail sentence, with the clothes you have to wear. The fact I'm singled out for wearing a hoodie in class because it's FREEZING fucking cold. Fucking nighttime supervisor is a DOUCHE.
4. I haven't done ANYTHING in there in about 4 months. My classes are a bunch of jokes. Out of the six I've done, two have been useful. Out of the last seven I have to go, only two more will actually pertain to anything I want to do. The rest bores me and makes my brain hurt.
5. Everyday I go there, I get dumber. My friend Andrew and I are constantly testing our vocabulary because we are quite sure that each day we are there, our IQ gets lower.
6. Did I mention it's a waste of four hours of my life? That I do NOTHING? Seriously, nothing??!?!?!?
7. It's not really a tech school. It's more of an ASE prep school. I don't need anyone to prep me for tests; I can do those just fine.
8. Half hands-on experience in the classroom? I think not. It's more like 3-4 days that you get to wander around in the shop. OH yeah, while you try to cram under a truck and watch 25 people take off a clutch. Yes. I learn like that. Pfft.
9. It's bullshit.
10. Etc. There is so much more that they do to screw the students, I just don't feel like thinking about it right now. It hurts.

So. I've been trying to post this for over like 3 days. I keep getting sidetracked because this whole topic makes me sad. Would you like to see the only one reason I wouldn't leave?

1. If I waste 26 months of my life, I get one year of free automotive experience.

I don't think that's enough to keep my pissed off level to a minimum.

I'm going to still work at UPS, supervisor and all. Start working a entry level automotive tech job, then eventually just switch over to full time tech. I can't waste my time anymore.

Christ, I could be pregnant. Kayla could be an aunt!

There's much to much to think about to waste my life doing this. Not to mention wasting another 12k of my mom's money. I just don't want to do it anymore.

If anyone doesn't see why I want to leave, please, feel free to ask questions. I ASSURE YOU, for every suggestion you'd try and give me, I've probably be given it and I'm sure I have a good rebuttal. :P

I posted a rack of stuff over on dA.

Restrained by ~saphrin on deviantART

This is one of my favorites. The other stuff on there is pretty nifty, but this is... I don't know. It's so me. ;P